It felt very quick, and straight forward. I expected it, but I was hoping there was a way for things to stay the same. I remember listening to my breathing. My chest erratically beating with each exhale. The echo of my heartbeat deep in the sound of my confusion, sadness, and disappointment... I couldn't even stop to decide which. I began to cry uncontrollably. My eyes no longer seeing everything stable and in front of me...
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It's been over a year since the day my heart was broken. I've gotten better... but there are occasional times where I lay in bed and think about the memories I had with him. It doesn't help when I keep having dreams about him either. A few weeks ago, I flew out of the country to visit him and explore the beautiful city. I had a wonderful time in Seoul and I also enjoyed the times we were able to hang out. But ever since I've been back home, I haven't been myself. I'm still in love with him... and I miss him. He's probably moved on, but I haven't. I don't know if I ever will.
It seems that loving someone has become the most worthless thing to do. The same goes for being loved. All of it is just a vicious cycle of desire and hopelessness. Could it be from this point on, I won't be able to love someone again... or be loved? I shouldn't be thinking this way but it seems like this is where my future love life is headed. I don't know what to think anymore.
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